© 2007-2024

ZAYATS® Resolution. The Universe’s Center

Welcome to Studio ZAYATS®, where we proudly declare ourselves the Center of the Universe, complete with our own flag, anthem, and logo. Our internal policies are dedicated to creating conditions that ensure a dignified life and the free development of our employees.

Sovereignty and Inclusivity

Studio ZAYATS® exercises sovereignty over its entire territory, including the cafeteria and the doormat outside the entrance. As a secular organization, we do not endorse or impose any religion. We embrace individuals of all nationalities, religions, and skin colors, even programmers.

Equal Rights and Opportunities

We strictly prohibit any activities aimed at violently disrupting the integrity of Studio ZAYATS®, undermining its security, creating armed formations, or inciting social, racial, national, or religious discord.

Studio ZAYATS® guarantees equal rights and freedoms for all employees, regardless of gender, race, nationality, language, origin, property and job status, residence, religious beliefs, operating system preference, hair length, opinions on Dua Lipa’s latest album, body piercings, or any other personal circumstances.

Rights and Freedoms

1.Equality: At Studio ZAYATS®, men, women, cats, and managers have equal rights, freedoms, and opportunities.

2. Freedom from Cruelty: No employee shall be subjected to torture, violence, defragmentation, archiving, suspension by a rib, or any other cruel or degrading treatment or punishment. No one can be subjected to medical, scientific, or other experiments without voluntary consent.

3. Peaceful Assembly: Employees have the right to peacefully gather, hold meetings, parties, brainstorming sessions, rallies, demonstrations, marches, and pickets for matters important to them.

Privacy and Loyalty

The collection, storage, use, and dissemination of information about the private lives of Studio ZAYATS® employees without their consent is prohibited. In return, Studio ZAYATS® expects loyalty from employees and strongly requests not to collect, store, use, or disseminate information about the studio’s private life outside its walls. If an employee has concerns, they are encouraged to speak with the management for assistance.

Workspace and Resources

1. Personal Workspace: Every employee has the right to a personal computer connected to the global internet, a chair, a desk lamp, and a box of cookies.

2. Food Rights: Employees have the right to daily lunches, free coffee, hot water from the kettle, cutlery, a refrigerator, and second helpings.

3. Rest Rights: Employees have the right to sleep in the office on a specialized couch, without fear of being pranked with toothpaste.

Work Hours and Compensation

1. Flexible Hours: Employees can choose to work 12-, 14-, or 16-hour days and can work a six-day week if they prefer. Overnight work is also an option.

2. High Salary: Employees are entitled to a high salary, paid in full and on time. Employees may disclose their salary to third parties, but only once, as doing so results in automatic termination from Studio ZAYATS®.

Volunteer and Customization Rights

1. Volunteer Work: Employees can participate in volunteer activities supported by Studio ZAYATS®, such as hugging sea lions and cuddling turtles.

2. Workspace Customization: Employees can personalize their workspace according to their professional, religious, and personal tastes. Requests for necessary equipment, such as Zip drives, ergonomic keyboards, green floppy disks, dot-matrix printers, Leonardo DiCaprio posters, and anti-radiation cacti, will be fulfilled by the studio at no cost to the employee.

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